How to talk to girls – How not to break up.

how to talk to girls - how not to break up

How to talk to girls – breakups must be managed careful or you may regret it.

How to talk to girls is a critical skill not only to get a women but also hot to manage the breakup. Breaking up is usually very hard to do. You only have to check out some of the angry break up songs to know it is something that can cut to the core of a person if they are not expecting it or it is done ‘badly’. There are many ways to breakup and we have all seen some great break up scenes on tv show and movies that highlight many options for breakups.

So you are probably thinking, well what is the best way?  It is important that you know how to talk to girls. Can you seriously not think of one way that covers it off nicely.?You just know what you say and how it is done will be the subject of intense scrutiny by her and her girlfriends to find out exactly what you meant, what went wrong. You may even be asked to go through it all again by future girlfriends so they can analyse your relationship motives and empathy. Your parting words will be remembered long after you have gone, choose them carefully.

Think through the options

You need to work through it without being seen as the bad guy. Highlight some of the good things that was in the relationship. If you get this wrong all the good memories will be overshadowed by the finale. You may need some assistance from out dating product reviews.

Modern technology opens up new options but not necessarily the best options. To be honest when you get to the stage of planning breakup it is usually clear to both parties so will probably not be as hard as you think. So lets review some of the things not to do as outlined below as a starting point.
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No time

The old ‘I am really busy at the moment and do not have time for a relationship’. This one often seems as a quick painless solution. One that comes to mind, but its pretty easy to see through. Life is about priorities and it is just where you prioritise her and she knows it. You still have time for watching your fav team, your regular catch up with your mates and those few extra hours at work. You didn’t worry about time when you called early morning for a catch up because you were feeling frisky. Let’s face it, what this means to her is you just cant be bothered finding time for her any more.

Its not you it me

Another all time classic. But that does not make it a good one. In all likelihood by the end of the day her and her friends will have an extensive list of why it was you and not her so no need to assist them by using this line. You might avoid them starting this list if instead you offer a positive and honest reason. his one is just a cliché that she knows means nothing.

You deserve better

This again is a clear lie. What she will probably interpret this as is a weak excuse and a cop out. What you are saying is that you know better than her what she needs. That her judgement is off. To anyone this is a bit of a slap in their face. If she felt you were not good enough she would have been the one finishing the relationship.

Wrong stage of life

Another old and tired cliché. There are a number of issues with this one including she will know it is a lie from the start. She will know it even more when you hook up with another girl in a few weeks or months. Yes, she will know hen you hook up next. Being more upfront and explain it isn’t working for you will be seen as a whole lot more sincere.

You do not have to be cruel or go into every detail about your issues with her. You will at least get her respect for some honesty even if hard to take. Remember there is a karma god driving a bus out there and if you mess with other people too much and are deceptive, the bus may come and run you over just when you are in a nice relationship.

Ghosting

Not sure you can face up to the breakup so just disappear, this is called ghosting ie you just become a ghost. You stop responding to all communication and going to any places where you would run into her. This one is a little heartless to say the least. Lack of communication can cause a lot of grief. It may seem easier but you will end up being seen as that spineless bastard. Not only breaking up but not even having the balls to tell her what happened. She will at first be worried, then angry and then putting a curse on you! Of all the options this one is probably the worst.

Its how you say it

Knowing how to talk to girls is not rocket science. The above is about your rationale to her for why you did it but you need to consider how you do it. Telling her by calling her or sending a message on Instagram, via email, twitter, facebook or the myriad of other social media options is not really appropriate. There are three problems in particular with using one of these options.

  1. You will probably forever be remembered as a coward.
  2. The social media options are very black and white, so the reasons do not usually come across well.
  3. On social media the reasons are in black and white and can be quickly shared so you will be analysed to death. They can use it as evidence against your character proving how much better off she is without you.

Date night.

If you go out and have a nice date and then drop the bombshell well into it or at the end, or even worse after you have been in bed together, not a great look. A little respect for her emotion is as important as the message itself.

Keep it clear

It can seem easier to be a bit vague on what finishing the relationship means. If you say it in ways that could indicate you are reducing it or changing it, this can be deceptive. If you are finishing the relationship make it clear that’s what you are doing. Offering friendship is a little off while you are breaking up. Both parties need time to digest the breakup and agreeing to be friends at the time of breakup can be awkward. You want to keep it all civil but do not provide unnecessary hope if you really want out. Check out our article of the friendship zone.

Getting smashed

While getting smashed prior to the breakup might seem to make it easier, long term effects are probably not great.

Bringing it all together.

Yes breaking up can be tough especially if one partner is still very emotionally engaged. But you need to keep it positive and open and communicate in an effective manner. It is harder to upfront say you are getting out and give reasons without being hurtful. But in the long run you will be seen as a much better guy.

You do not want to be the guy that girls love to hate. Future partners will hear about it and this will make getting the love life, or even just a quick roll in the sack, that much harder.

Remember the breakup will be the lasting impression that you leave of your relationship. If it is too hurtful the hurt will override all the good times. Tread warily.